Hmmmmm, I wonder if that would include the ones who came over on the Mayflower? 

Anyway, let's take a good look at that. 

For one, how does one identify an American Jew to begin with, Ashkenazi or otherwise? 

For another, what about the American Sephardic Jews who are also of European descent? 

And for a third, what about the children of mixed marriages? 

Now I realize that there are people who believe everything that they read in the papers. Or hear on TV. So if you're one of them and if you're “an American Ashkenazi Jew,” you're probably scared as hell by now. 

But not to worry. I've got a very simple solution for you. 

All you have to do is research other religious groups and find out what the odds are of having that kind of genetic mutation. Suppose, for example, only 1 out of every 34 Catholics has the mutation. All you gotta do, then, to double your chances of survival is become a Catholic. Right? 

Now if religious conversion doesn't appeal to you, check out music lovers, baseball fans, and crossword puzzle devotees. If you find a more favorable ratio among any of them, all you have to do to increase your chances of survival is develop a taste for music or for baseball or for crossword puzzles, as the case may be. 

See? Solving every problem is a piece of cake if you just put your mind to it. 

Think about it.