Think only about the past. Dwell on all the mistakes you've ever made, starting with when you were a child. Carefully review again and again all the opportunities you've missed in life. And especially relive all the times you think you were treated badly. 

Use your wit destructively. Be smart at the expense of other people. Especially when they're not there to explain or defend themselves. 

Always stand on dignity. Never forget that you have a position to maintain. 

Be a chiseler. Try to get everything cheap. Convince yourself that life is a zero-sum game. That the harder you bargain, the more you'll have left. By doing so you'll strengthen your poverty-consciousness, thereby guaranteeing that you'll always be financially insecure. 

Get emotional and excited over every trifling occurrence. Especially if it's no concern of yours. 

Let other people decide what you can and cannot accomplish. 

When your judgment clashes with the judgment of others, cave in right away. Do or think what they want you to do or think. That way, if it doesn't work out, you'll have others to blame for your failures. 

Be ignorant of the truism that words are symbols. That way, you'll never have to identify what it is that lies behind what you're being told. Which is a good thing, because that's hard work. Better to believe that words are things instead. That way, all you'll have to do is feel your way through life. Which is also a good thing. Because it's easy. 

Never forget to blame all your failures on other people. Or on the color of your skin. Or on your religion. Or on your ethnic background. Or on your genes. Or on your limited schooling. Or on your gender. Or on any one of a multitude of convenient scapegoats. This will ensure that you will never have to take responsibility for your miserable, unhappy life. 

Think about it.