Which means that if you don't understand how language works, you let people do that to you. And so you wind up doing what they want you to do, not what you want to do. And what they want you to do is not likely to be in your best interest. Perhaps Allen Ginsburg said it best: Whoever controls the language, the images, controls the race. 

Now why am I telling you all this? 

Well, it's to make you aware that you're probably not in charge of your life. Although you may think you are. 

“All right,” I can almost hear you ask, “if I'm not in charge of my life, then who is?” 

The answer: All the people you allow to shape your actions, even though what they say conflicts with your own experience. 

It's an ailment that I call the “I'm not as smart as they are” mindset. And if you let what people say override the lessons of experience, then you've got a bad case of it. 

Now that's the bad news. The good news is that I have a cure for what ailsyou. 

The next time someone offers you something that doesn't ring true, ask him or her two questions: 

First, what did you mean by that? 

And second, what evidence do you have to support what you just said?

However, let me urge that you use the cure sparingly. Because it's mighty powerful medicine. So powerful that it may cost you a few friendships. 

Would it be worth losing a few friends, if it means regaining control of your life?  Well, if that's what happens, maybe they weren't friends of yours to begin with. 

Anyway, it's your call, not mine. 

Think about it.