Now I like Mr. Burns. I find him to be articulate, sincere, principled. An all around nice guy. But I think he has a great deal to learn about the “Federal Government.” 

You see, if we define the “real world” as the world of persons, plants, animals, and things — you know, the kind of stuff you can see, hear, touch, taste, or smell — then there's no such thing in the real world as the Federal Government. 

Now hold on there, Irving David, you're probably saying right about now, are you trying to tell me that there's no such thing as the Federal Government? 

No, that's not what I'm trying to tell you. What I'm trying to tell you is that there's no such thing as the Federal Government in the real world. The “Federal Government” is a legal abstraction. Which means that it exists only in your head. 

And whatever exists only in your head can't do anything. Only the things that exist in the real world can. So people can do things. Machines can do things. Animals can do things. Trees can do things. But legal abstractions cannot. 

Now if Mr. Burns would like to fix responsibility for what he terms the Federal Government's inability to solve our problems, what he's going to have to do is determine the identity of the people inWashington who are failing to address those problems and hold them accountable. The way he's going about it now is like holding a gremlin responsible for every time that his car fails to start. 

Think about it.