Now if the kid who said that is one of yours, I suggest that you call him over, put your arms around him, kiss him, and then very softly explain to him that nobody can make him do anything that he doesn't want to do. And so he's responsible for what he does. If you don't, you've got an embryonic martyr under your roof who will probably become a full-blooded victim in later years. 

Only he won't be saying anymore, “Look what you made me do.” Instead, he'll be saying, “It's all your fault       that . . . .” In other words, whatever his lot in life is, it isn't going to be because he made it that way — unless he's successful, of course, in which case he'll take full credit. No, it'll be because people have done it to him. 

And then he'll start looking for a suitable scapegoat, which he'll use as a crutch for the rest of his life. His skin color, his religion, his obesity, his lack of education, his gender, his whatever. 

You know what's wrong with that? I'll tell you. You see, as long as he thinks that what happens to him in life is determined by other people, he's a goner. He'll see every challenge as a problem. Every setback as a tombstone. Every defeat as a death knell. He'll never know that he can come back from just about every adversity. If he wants to. 

And you'll be saying to your friends, “I don't know how Charley ever got to be that way. I certainly didn't teach him that.” 

Didn't you? 

Think about it.