Here's a collection of such things. Most come from my knowledge of ratioverbalistics. The rest from decades of experiencing life. 

In case you're interested in their source, they were abstracted from the textbook that I wrote and use when I give the Mens Sana Foundation Socratic Discourse on Thinking and Communication.

You see, scuba divers can be taught; surfers can only be entertained. And I am a teacher, not someone whose mission in life is to amuse others, although I'm told I can be very funny at times. 

But please know that this site will do more for you in the long run than will most “cool” (in quotation marks because I haven't the foggiest notion what that word means except in the context of temperature) sites. 

In this regard, my philosophy is much like President Reagan's when he made the observation that if you feed someone by giving him or her a fish to eat, you'll have to give that someone a fish every day. But if you teach that someone how to fish, then he or she will be able to feed him or herself from then on without help from anyone. 

I can teach you how to (1) correctly analyze and digest information, (2) think clearly and innovatively using that information, and (3) effectively communicate the results of that thinking to others. If you learn these skills — and you can, believe me, if you want to — not only will you be able to feed yourself every day, but you'll be able to put on a banquet at the same time and feed others as well until they, too, learn how to “fish.” 

You have my word. 

Now to continue.

Base all your decisions on what people tell you, rather than on your own experience. If the former conflicts with the latter, choose the former. The beauty of this strategy is that if things go wrong, you can always blame it on others; you will never have to take responsibility for what happens. 

Mind everybody else’s business. This will ensure that you’ll neglect your own. 

Make no plans. Have no goals. Trust to luck for everything. Keep sitting around waiting for something to turn up. 

Never be original. Find out what everyone else is doing and do the same. 

Make up your mind that you’ve nothing more to learn. This will ensure that you’ll be able to remain mired in your present state of failure for the rest of your life. 

Diligently practice being rude to people you deem to be inferior or less important than you. Don’t return phone calls or FAX messages from them. And don’t answer their letters. The beauty of this strategy for success in business is that as you continue puffing yourself up with your own eminence, there will be fewer and fewer  people worthy of your attention. Then, when you reach the zenith of self-conceit, there will be no one that you’ll have to waste time upon. Which will be just as well, because there’ll be no one left who will want to do business with you anyway. 

Sneer at those who are more successful than you. Convince yourself that they were just lucky. 

Join one of your company’s political factions. Submerge your individual identity to it. Let the leader of the group do your thinking for you. And make sure that you never outgrow your colleagues. They wouldn’t like that. 

Knock everything systematically. No matter what you hear and read, deprecate it. 

Never wait to hear the other side of anyone’s story. Knowing both sides will only unsettle your mind. 

Never learn from experience. Keep on doing the same fool things again and again. After all, the truth is relentless. Which means that you’ll have as many chances to get it right as you need. Even if it takes all eternity. 

Parrot all the expressions that are in vogue. Don’t take the time to think through what they say.  When new ones come along, adopt them right away. And be sure to drop the old ones. After all, you wouldn’t want your peers to think that you’re different from them; they may not like you anymore. 

Be a slave of statistics. Completely ignore the fact that every situation and every set of  circumstances is new. That way you won’t have to make an effort to think anything through.  Why bother? The probable outcome has already been determined statistically by someone. And it certainly isn’t going to be to your liking. Nothing ever is. 

Always take the word of an expert. Forget that the human brain, one of which you’ve got in your cranium, is the most awesome mechanism in the known world. Convince yourself that you could never know as much as an expert. After all, that’s why he or she is called an expert. 

Whenever you have a problem, get into the habit of asking others what you should do. Doing that will cause your own problem-solving mechanism to deteriorate and eventually disappear. Which is just as well. Why carry excess baggage all through life when you don’t have to? 

Think only about the past. Dwell on all the mistakes you’ve ever made, starting with when you were a child. Carefully review again and again all the opportunities you’ve missed in life. And especially relive all the times you think you were treated badly. 

Use your wit destructively. Be smart at the expense of other people. Especially when they’re not there to explain or defend themselves. 

Always stand on dignity. Never forget that you have an exalted position to maintain. 

Be a chiseler. Try to get everything cheap. Convince yourself that life is a zero-sum game. That the harder you bargain, the more you’ll have left. By doing so you’ll strengthen your poverty-consciousness, thereby guaranteeing that you’ll always be financially insecure. 

Get emotional and excited over every trifling occurrence. Especially if it’s no concern of yours. 

Let other people decide what you can and cannot accomplish. 

When your judgment clashes with the judgment of others, cave in right away. Do or think what they want you to do or think. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you’ll have others to blame for your failures. 

When you’re up against it keep tossing the problem around in your mind endlessly. The way a dog worries a bone. That way you can remain mired in your difficulty giving all who know you justification for feeling sorry for you. This will allow you to wallow in your “poor me” attitude without causing other people to throw up. 

Never forget to blame all your failures on the color of your skin. Or on your religion. Or on your ethnic background. Or on your genes. Or on your limited schooling. Or on your gender. Or on any one of a multitude of convenient scapegoats. This will ensure that you’ll never have to take responsibility for all your failures in business and in life. 
 

Work hard to develop the “How can I help?” attitude. Learn to respect others. Never try to change other people’s minds. Instead, give them something to think about and maybe they’ll change their minds voluntarily. Never judge other people. Always think, speak, and act out of love rather than out of fear. Continually keep in mind that just as suspicion begets suspicion, game-playing begets game-playing, and deviousness begets deviousness, openness begets openness, trust begets trust, and goodwill begets goodwill. And always try to be a good listener. If you do all these things, you and most of those around you will benefit a thousand-fold. 

Never parrot. It’s like having diarrhea of the brain cells; the material you take in runs unprocessed, unchanged right through your mental tubes, so to speak. Instead, offer others only what you have thought through on your own. You may not be “one of the boys (or girls)” if you do so. But your integrity will remain intact. And the people around you will eventually recognize that integrity to your and their benefit. 

Base your premises on what people do rather than on what they say. Base them also on what you observe in the world of the “what is,” never in the world of the “what should be” or “could be” or “might be” or the world of the “what ought to be.” Never base them on verbal ghosts, intangible characteristics, labels, personified abstractions, or connotative meaning. And rarely, if ever, base your premises on statistics. 

Always base your decisions on the proposition that principle is not bound by precedent. Just because something hasn’t been done in the past doesn’t mean that it can’t be done now. Every moment is new. Every situation is new. Every set of conditions and every set of circumstances are new. And most important of all: at every moment, you are new. Always know that there is a first time for everything. 

Practice being a clear, innovative thinker. Venture forth in uncharted waters from time to time. Who knows? You might think of a new product. A new service. A new market. A new way of doing things, of looking at a problem, of organizing and applying limited resources. New efficiencies. New solutions. The kind of accomplishment that is considered by most to be the Nirvana of the business world. And always remember that practice makes perfect. 

Be careful of words such as “proof” and “proven.” Their generally accepted meanings are in conflict with the world of no-words, the real world, a world of unlimited possibilities, a world in which nothing can ever be proved but can only be temporarily confirmed. 

When you’re the sender of information, continually look for indications that the receiver understands what it is that you’re trying to say to him. The eyes and facial expression are a good place to look. Sometimes ask for verbal feedback. But the best indication is the action he takes when you’ve finished speaking. 

When you’re the receiver of information, continually give the other person an indication that you think you understand what it is that she’s trying to say to you by the look in your eyes and by the expression on your face. Give her verbal feedback from time to time. But the best indication that you can give her is the action you take when she’s finished. 

Constantly keep in mind that the word (symbol) is not the thing (referent). Therefore, no matter what anyone says to you, it can have no effect on you unless you permit it to do so. Which means that you can’t be offended or angered or discouraged or hurt or made to feel guilty or whatever by anything anyone says to you unless you choose to be offended or angered or discouraged or made to feel guilty or whatever. It’s always your call. 

In conversation it’s a good idea from time to time to introduce a subject-predicate sentence with the appropriate qualifying phrase. For example, “In my opinion (or judgment) . . .” or “I have inferred that . . . .” This will give the other person the idea that your beliefs are not carved in stone, that you’re amenable to a change of mind given good reason to do so. 

Try to keep in mind when receiving information that there are two kinds of referents: single and multiple. After a while, differentiating between the two will become second nature to you. When it does, you’ll be amazed at the incisiveness of the questions you’ll be asking. And you’ll also be amazed at how smart you’ve suddenly become. But please know that the smartness was always there; you just didn’t know how to use it. 

It’s OK to talk about anyone or anything as being a member of a class. But always think about that “anyone” or “anything” as being unique. Doing so will allow you to function as a social animal but without being perceived as a stuffy intellectual at the same time. 

Know deep within that during your waking hours you live in two worlds at basically the same time (1) the real world, the world you experience, the world you see, hear, touch, taste, and smell and (2) your world of words, an imagined world, a world of thoughts and feelings induced by words. Doing so will make it easier for you to differentiate between concrete and abstract words. Which, in turn, will make it easier for you to differentiate between when you’re “living” outside your head and when you’re “living” inside your head. 

Use concrete (or outer-world) words as much as you can and abstract (or inner-world) words as little as you can. It’s also a good idea to ask others to do the same. 

Get into the habit of using short, concrete, familiar words rather than long, abstract, unfamiliar ones. For example, “innocent” instead of “inculpable” and “naive” instead of “ingenuous.” Doing so will increase the likelihood that the other person will understand what it is that you’re trying to say. Especially if he or she is from a different part of the country than you. Or of a different racial, religious, or ethnic background. Or from a smaller town. Or from a bigger city. Don’t forget: the purpose of words is to communicate, not to impress. 

Be constantly aware that you can never know what the other person means by the words she uses. You can only know what you mean by them. Therefore, when in doubt, ask for an operational definition. Or a description in outer-world words. 
 

Strive to inform rather than to deceive, to illuminate rather than to obscure. 

Speak from knowledge rather than from word information. If you haven’t experienced it, you literally don’t know what you’re talking about. 

Avoid projecting intangible characteristics into persons, plants, animals, and things. If you don’t, you’ll spend a good part of your life jousting with creatures of your own making without being aware that that’s exactly what you’re doing. 

Avoid making statements that can’t be tested. When others do it, try to change the subject. If you don’t, you’ll accomplish nothing. And you’ll waste a great deal of time accomplishing that nothing. 

Don’t make what sound like factual statements unless you’re confident that they are indeed factual. Don’t make inferential statements unless you’re confident of the accuracy of your premises and of the soundness of your reasoning. Don’t make judgmental statements unless they’re based on your own experience. And avoid offering opinions altogether. As Voltaire observed: “Opinion has caused more trouble on this little earth than plagues or earthquakes.” 

Always identify for your listener the form of your assertion when making it — that it’s a fact, an inference, a judgment, or (and only if you feel you must!) an opinion. If she’s someone who is discerning, she’ll appreciate your honesty. If she’s not, you haven’t lost anything by doing so. 

Frequently check the meaning of key words — usually nouns and verbs — when conversing with another. If you don’t, it’s highly likely that neither of you will be talking to the other but rather at the other. 

Avoid beginning sentences with “Everyone knows. . .”, “It’s a fact that . . .”, and other such unjustified assumptions. You may not qualify to be a regular on a TV talk show, but you will qualify to be a regular with your family, friends, and co-workers. 

Avoid jargon, buzz or vogue words, euphemisms, ethnic and cultural transplants, and clichés. Use idioms sparingly and only if they’re not trite. Never leave a comparative or superlative hanging in midair. But do use analogies, metaphors, and similes where appropriate; they can approximate thoughts and feelings better than most other word-forms can. 

Mastering the principles of language is like finding the fountain of youth. It’ll keep you young biologically and wise psychologically by dredging your mind of accumulated garbage. 

Avoid all fallacies of logic — such as ignoring the issue and attacking your opponent personally (the ad hominem attack); holding that if B followed A, then A must have been the cause of B (post hoc, ergo propter hoc); and assigning a characteristic to an entire group on the basis of only one or two observations (the fallacy of over-generalizing) — when engaged in an argument, discussion, or debate. You may win the battle if you use them, but you will most certainly lose the war. 

Never quote a critic; it’s like quoting an adult male on what it feels like to bear a child. 

Use measurements and simple arithmetic where appropriate; they can help you (1) better understand what’s happening and (2) better convey to others what’s happening. But avoid using statistics; they have nothing to do with the world of no-words, the real world. 

Beware of polls. They are meaningless for at least three reasons: (1) the questions asked are always biased; (2) there is a tendency for people to lie to pollsters; and (3) they frequently turn out to be more the self-fulfilled prophecy than a reflection of what the respondents were thinking at the time. 

Respond to a “What does it (a given word) mean?” question first by pointing to the appropriate referent. If there isn’t one available, describe in concrete words whatever it is that you intend the word to represent. And if that doesn’t do the job, use an operational explanation of how you think it (the referent) works. Use a synonym only as a last resort. But if you do, don’t delude yourself that the other person will understand exactly what you’re trying to tell him; it’s highly likely that he won’t. 

Avoid using labels. The trouble with labels is that once you label something there’s a tendency to think that you know all there is to know about that something. You don’t. 

Don’t string words together as you would string beads together. Beads are things, while each word is the skin of a living thought. Use at least as much care in selecting words to express yourself as you would in choosing herbs and spices when cooking. The right choice in both cases will mean the difference between a love offering and an offering of bile. 

Don’t strive to impress others with the size of your vocabulary or with the artfulness with which you can put words together; strive instead for sincerity and clarity. You’ll be a superior communicator for it. Besides, anyone who is impressed by big words or obscure passages is not worth impressing to begin with. 

Use verbal language the way you use the language of algebra — i.e., make clear what you intend each symbol (word) to stand for. 

Don’t express yourself in monochrome; life isn’t that way. Indeed, no two things in the Universe are exactly alike. So if you say everything is great, then nothing is great. And if you say everything is a ripoff then nothing is a ripoff. 

Don’t make choices while upset or agitated. They will most likely be bad ones. 

In all your communication with others, try to follow the advice Polonius gave to his son, Laertes, when the latter was preparing to leave home for the first time: “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” 

Get into the habit of thinking in terms of process. When someone imparts information to you, think through step-by-step what had to be done to gather that information. If you do, you’ll find very frequently that the information being presented to you is probably inaccurate or untrue. Which means that it’s worthless and should be discarded. 

When giving instructions to others, do it in terms of process as well — what he or she has to do step-by-step to carry out those instructions. It may sound laborious or tedious. But if you do, the room for error will shrink precipitously. 

Stick to ideas. Forego discussing personalities. Especially in politics. It’s OK to attack the ideas of Newt Gingrich, Edward Kennedy, Jesse Helms, Richard Gephardt, Mario Cuomo, or Rush Limbaugh. But it’s not OK to attack Newt Gingrich, Edward Kennedy, Jesse Helms, Richard Gephardt, Mario Cuomo, or Rush Limbaugh themselves. Nothing is gained by doing so. By anyone. 

Be honest with people. If you don’t know, say you don’t know. Don’t invent, don’t lie, don’t lay down a smoke screen of words to conceal your ignorance — that’s like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Eventually, you’ll be found out and you’ll come off like a horse’s behind. 

If you think you’re up against it for any reason, empty your mind and wait. Because, paradoxically, it’s only when your mind is empty that you can know the right thing to do. You see, the mind thinks. Which means that it operates in the realm of the relative, the realm of right and wrong. But the soul knows. Which means that it functions in the realm of the absolute, the realm of the infallible. Empty the mind and it’s the soul’s knowing that prevails, a knowing that’s infallible, a knowing that’s even more certain than death and taxes. 

Try not to react to statements in a knee-jerk way. Instead, try to find the indicated referent. If you do, you’ll frequently find there isn’t any. Which means that what was said to you is without meaning. 

Be clear on what are things and what are ideas. For example, don’t turn a thing into a person (“The Pentagon reported that . . .”). Buildings can’t talk, only people can. And don’t turn an idea into a thing (“We can get back at the Federal Government by blowing up one of its buildings.”). The Federal Government is an idea, not a thing. And you can never get back at an idea. 

When reading a newspaper or magazine, when listening to a talk show, when witnessing an exposé of one kind or another on TV, when watching the evening news or headline news, or when doing anything like the foregoing, always remember that what you’re being told is not what happened, but someone’s perception of what happened, a perception shaped by the needs of his or her symbolic-self. 

If you’re going to talk about people, at least stay away from talking about them in terms of intangible group characteristics. None of such characteristics is real. Talk about individual characteristics instead. You’ve got a better shot at saying something that makes sense. 

Never for even one moment give credence to the claim that there’s such a thing as a group point of view. Or a group way of looking at things. Or a group way of thinking. There’s no such thing: (1) point of view, way of looking at things, and way of thinking are all a reflection of experience, (2) no two people have the same set of experiences, and (3) therefore, there must be infinite diversity in the points of view, ways of looking at things, and ways of thinking. 

Don’t take meanings for granted. Some of the more common words are the bigger traps — “lifestyle,” “cultural,” “role model,” “affirmative action,” “racism,” “diversity,” and “proportional representation,” for example. 

Question meaning no matter who’s doing the talking. Someone who has the credentials of an expert — licenses, graduate degrees, prizes or awards, titles, published articles and/or books — and who looks and talks like an expert — coat, shirt, tie, neatly trimmed beard, gray at the temples, smiling countenance, good voice, the right jargon, and so on — could consistently spew forth utter nonsense. And an uncredentialed, unlicensed, unpublished, gaunt, spare derelict, with matted hair, filthy beard, blazing, feverish eyes, squeaky voice, dressed in a tattered robe, with dirty feet encased in dirty sandals, etc., could consistently send forth sheer wisdom and genius, all the while drooling spittle. 

Always remember that if you can’t point to a referent, or draw a picture of it, or reproduce the smell of it, or reproduce the sound it makes, or reproduce how it feels on the skin, or reproduce its taste, or describe it in concrete terms, or give an operational explanation of how it works, you cannot convey what you’re thinking to another. 

Be constantly aware that because you spend much more time talking to yourself than to others, you tend to forget that that’s what you’re doing when you are talking to others. One of the problems with that is that you’re so familiar with what you’re thinking that your mind tends to fill in the gaps. Another is that you probably don’t bother to occasionally check with the other person to see if he or she is receiving what you’re trying to convey. The result is very much like Shakespeare’s notion of “full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” 

Question authority. Especially in selecting premises. If what you’re told doesn’t square with your experience, take a good long look at it before making it your own. It may take you longer to decide something. But your batting average will go from an anemic .090 to a lusty .450 plus. 

Try not to swallow what you read or hear without chewing on it first. Just as undigested food can cause you stomach problems, undigested information can cause you head problems. You can take a pill or two to help you feel comfortable in the case of the former. But there’s no pill in existence that can alleviate the distress that goes with the latter. 

Always keep the idea of relevancy in the back of your mind when both receiving and sending information. Know that information is as plentiful as the leaves on the trees, as plentiful as the grains of sand on the beach. But it’s only the information that’s relevant to the mental task at hand that needs to be considered in both receiving and sending. Ignore everything else. 

But even more important, know that in life, both business and personal: 

No one is ever defeated who emerges from conflict with his (her) soul unstained, while no one is ever victorious who does  not. “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole  world, and lose his own soul?” 

As Shakespeare put it: 

 Our doubts are traitors, 
 And make us lose the good we oft might win, 
 By fearing to attempt.

You’ll never regret it. And that’s a promise. Because if you always act out of fear, always take the lowest road, always think that winning is more important than growing, you will have missed the whole point in life. Something you’ll be sure to realize downstream. When it’s too late.