weeks ago, during one of our discussions, a friend of mine, who is black, angrily tried to blame the humiliations of his youth on "the system."

Rather than agree with him, which was what I think he wanted me to do, and which I didn't want to do, having learned a long time ago that you can never help an alcoholic by drinking with him, I tried to defuse his anger by appealing to reason.

That way, I thought, he might be able to more coolly consider the matter. It didn't work. And I should have known better — you can never respond to what's going on in someone's heart by appealing to his head.

Anyway, as that old saying goes, his mind was made up and he didn't want anyone to confuse him with the facts.

Let me give you some of the points I tried to make with him and see what you think.

First, the phrase "the system" is completely without meaning in the real world. It's nothing more than a pure abstraction. Whatever it stands for cannot be seen, heard, touched, tasted, or smelled. Therefore, it's something that exists in heads only.

Second, attacking "the system" for what's been done to you is like shadow boxing. You can dance all you want around the object of your anger. But in the end, the only one hurt by the exercise will be you. The object of your anger will be as fresh as ever, beause you literally never laid a glove on it.

And third, as long as you can be made to believe that "the system" is what's doing it to you rather than people, you're a piece of cake to exploit. It's like wearing a ring in your nose. It may be fashionable, but it also makes it easy for people to lead you around by your proboscis.

Think about it.