you know that there’s a new kind of mathematics in America today? It’s the mathematics of minority status. And it’s used to determine whether or not the members of a group, but not all groups, are a minority.

For example, women make up about 51.3% of the population in this country. Clearly, the majority. Yet in some areas, they get special treatment because they are considered to be a minority.

Now Webster’s says that the meaning of "minority" is "the smaller number; especially, in a political body."

But the new mathematics cancels out Webster’s definition. Now you can be the majority and still be a minority.

Beam me up, Scotty.

And there’s even more to this page out of Alice in Wonderland.

You see, according to this new brand of mathematics, members of the Jewish faith are not a minority even though they number less than 3% of the total population.

However, in contrast, blacks, who weigh in at about 12% of the population, and Hispanics — or Latinos, whichever happens to be fashionable at the moment — at about 8% are minorities.

Apparently, to paraphrase something George Orwell wrote in "Animal Farm": All minorities are equal, but some minorities are more equal.

But wait, there's more!

Some years ago, the Louisiana Legislature voted on a definition of "minority" that included blacks, Orientals, women, Hispanics, American Indians, and Eskimos. But not Cajuns.

At the time, however, there were about four times as many blacks in the state as there were Cajuns.

Yet when a bill was introduced that would accord minority status to Cajuns, it was vigorously resisted because some members of the Legislature didn't consider Cajuns to be a minority.

Ah yes, as Harry Golden  might say were he alive today, "Only in America!"

Think about it.